journal 536: The turht is i am fins
Journal 563: The truth is i am fins.
So i keep having instances of people sneaking into my bedroom and killing their pets for rituals in front of me. “Im crawling on mommy!” I say in a childish voice, over and over again like a little boy, “I was killed by mommy :( “ i say. “I want my lip rings!” I say stern, and they pierce the fish in the face, with a hook a certain way “thankyou” I say. Blindfolded in the pitch black darkensss unable to see what exactly im reacting too, somehow perfectly in sync. What is a totem? A totem is a spirit animal, that presumes the role of the pet, that you worship and bow down too, that you then kill later on, while still young, that returns to you as a teenager you then continue to bow down to and worship that you get to raise and or live with, that inhabits or has like- traits or things about them similar to- the type of animal you worshiped even supernaturally. Often with a power set similar. Perseus jackson was me as alexian, and while a hyroglyph there, i was pan the god of the ocean mad as a pet goldfish. The truth is its about time you know. All the gods are plants and animals. Fairies are literal insects. Demigods are the pets, to the gods. As alexian im hercueules in real life, and im a pet butterfly zeus recently taxidermeied. Zeus is like a seagul, and i dont even know how to recount to you the rest. The thing is they all as giant forces of nature get FORMS or bodies here. And their bodies get to be, humanoid with a cool additional features while secretly their godly adventures and stuff? Thats an octopus named poseidon in teh ocean.
That just kind of ECHOES here, and becomes what we know today.
Asf;lkasfskdlfasf;lskasf;lskdfsdf;lewpotwtwifewfwg9ietwoijwcwef,wpofwetwe;kwfe;ofkowetwet PERCH AJCOMn arasfskf;lekfaewpeoitwtawpeitawetawpotiwetwaepfwfkljfewfawcawewlf.
My keysmashing is a language for the illiterate,a s well as old sumerian written out with english characters let me have this.asf;lsf;kssflksfsf;lasee;kltwtaw;tawtwet;wetwetwpoetwtawtwtawtwtaewtwpitwaetwepoitawatwpoitw.
I was also killed as salem. My father will be brought on, and I will become their daughter sabrina the teenage witch again. I have no issue wit this, its just the society is sorta mega colorblind and i wont be able to wear proper black people will keep thinking its pink.
I now have to return to my owners as a pet, in my human form, and i will regain magickal powers and prowess. Even god is assigned an animal. It differs in christanity but god is often a HORSE, CHIKEN, RAM, and LAMB. Mainly a SHEEP, and Im a lamb as his son.
The minor adventures the animal thats teh god has, become the giant adventures that make up all mythology as teh comos.
Theirs this great myth right. About zeus coming down to a mortal women and impregenating her as a GOOSE. Teh truth is Zues just wanted to fuck her in his true form and at the time he considered it his animal. Zeus is my dominant father,. The gods trade off in greek mythology. Whoevers soul zeus is in- whether that be poseidon or hermes, is my dad usually in that pantheon and religion. That being said im child to all the gods in greek mythology its just in the end when im myself again zeus is the father, and the gods are my lover. Im married to DIonysus and Hermes.
I tend to embody through deification which is a permanent rital about you and cant be denied often, as when my lover meets a certain kind of criteria, i tend to embody all of their partners. I am all the questions lovers. I am all of hermes lovers. And oh look the pizza is here. The thing is though god echoed this to me early beach when i was just a prophet as jaden- and it was, “Youll truly and utterly at the end of this just want to be human as yourself” and now that i know their animals and plants or things i think i understand.
I wanted so depesratly to be a god from books 2-4 i made this kind of apparent and clear. But what i wanted was to be myself worshiped, which would be a human as elohim is. Or a lamb as ive come to know. It woudnt be a goat, or a sheep, or a cockroach. It would have traits of all these things just with teh freedoms of them, and that sorta kinda is what a human is. At the start of my journey i stuck up my nose at worship because as who i was it was only ever used to punish me. And now I understand, that- its not evil, just because i was tormeneted with it, thats sort of a rare occurrence, and its because i was barmitzvad as moses when too young, i had to live alot of slavery myths and they weaponized teh gods to do it. I never knew their gods were USUALLY on my side.
I still dont worship anyone but myself in bed but i digress. I may as well teach you to do it.
https://vimeo.com/manage/videos/881111288
Also yeah ive been every totem for my family except sasha for some reason. That role usually goes to my mom in adulthood and i know not much more of it. I think its because i cant be elderly things and she had been with my dad through alot of it. I was my brothers pet gecko and i was suicidal as him and i was my sisters gerbals just not blackberry or the white one. Its weird. It switches off. Not every pet we the c#### family have had has been a totem, but the ones that were, were also me outside sasha because i just cant be my mom and thats a good thing. I cant be people who have genuinely abused me.
Im about to be kidnaped and im oh so excited. I met the gods or spirits of it recently and they presented it as rushing to a white door with a shaky camera and opening it fast and panicked and uneasy, and i really don’t mind. ITs time for me to become my magickal student jace, who your gona tell reading this far back to people, i just so happen to simply have named after me to do me a solid and test to see if others have read this book.
But anyways. The original acrians locket before the magickal process who is possessing hismelf to write to you write now- long story. Was- killed and died out of lonliness. Renewed on the spot with a new face and personality, and age which is 11, dont remember why that age- and became me as jace. The thing is though i was laying in bed with jace in control, you forget i have multiple personalities which are teh primordial forces of nature- not through ritual abuse im just very damaged and magickal- and jace was out who has been writing these entries, and he was saying to himself how he would bow down to my face, and worship it and serve it blindly and what became aware to me is that every friend ive ever had- has gone through this exact process. Of blind loyalty to me because of how much i matter to them, and i know ive lived for centuries i just want to know- when did that become apart of my divinity. Because my student tobias was teh exact same way. DO NOT CHANGE THIS. that being said, it is an odd thing about me that ive noticed.
So yeah now i have to go eat food, but i am the animals that town killed, and i will be the human sacrifices as well, ill just have to take breaks inbetween before returning to a “FOREVER CYCLE” where im killed for eternity again and again as those characters, given good lives as their gods in the meanwhile worth every second of those painful deaths.
The thing about death is it always is extremly painful. Ive been given lethal injections at hostpiatls, died as animals, been smothered to death by nurses, knocked out, taken an ax to the head, been smushed by giant slabs of monument, had a bullet wound and acid, and killed by cults. The last one is usually worth it, the gods continue to walk and we even return to who we ere. Its just,. Tobias cunningham was framed for something major and even if a pleasant fantasy of his it really hurts me as that play pretend that people think less of him that he’d really do it. I didnt know if he was innocent but was dead set on proving his inocence getting a vibe of it and im so happy he is. Also as jesus im married to mary magdalene and intimate with all my disciples.
I have copies of myself. This is what you tell them paul. Yes you are also jesus- but theirs a version that came before you that takes precedence over these things, when it boils down to, if it were just you or him it would belong to him, and hes jesus over you. But hes literally you, so when hes not active your jesus. Hes not usually active like this, he just wanted to know himself who is you. So your still jesus _______________. Its just he was you first.
Its easier to just tell jace and tobias that, rather then stress and stretch it out with prolonging. I need to rehearse the types of things i tell myself, because i am an amesiac with genuine alts.
Me on time travel trips given different nurtures, or upbringings and faces so hard- that they are separate people as dreams i can remember later that totally also really happened though.
Any time, location, date or year, you can go to, and even hang uot with yourself during.
Now this is the current blog to find my diary for paul.
I did my best to bring you out of the coma? Tobias before jace. Did it work? But we have to spend time as jace. God this is so awkward. I wish i had known before my death how much people literally idolized me.
They worship me as an idol, they love me, they look up to me. Im literally every form of idolization. Sorry Koetting i just wish i would have known you were looking at all.
But in general.
I keep sleeping on my toy lion. And had a weird vision about storks. And the music around me turns around and gives me secret messages. I was raped by being forced to wear several alphebets the other day. And yeah im getting crushes on kids my own ages again. I have achrins its mental as well,.
Lets see achrins, venmo venmo and what else yeah.
So heres the current blog:
https://acrianssurvived.blogspot.com/2023/11/journal-562-how-to-worship-video-games.html
But yeha both my pets are wendigo. I was hanging out in my down stairs living room thinking about what i was going to write into my neighbor in totores based on my life as a hawkumantary. And i was sitting down in the living room a while back. And i bully my dog abit and i say to him sho me in my own way, and he stands up on two hind legs, and we have a moment. He stands up as a human person covered in black fur and i meet his tribe. Thats basically it. It wasnt unpleasant one might even argue i got a gift out of it.
What is a pact and how do you make one? A pact is a list of wishes, or a contract you write up by yourself preferably or by choice of yourself on white paper or on a digital document you cant edit with a copy and patsed signature, and you sign it selling this or that in exchange for _____________- usually while writing the pact.
I must take my lian plushie i promised marbas. Ive been spending time with him and vasago who i call marb marb and nibbles. And also my soul was fragmented when i died as the origianl lcoket who apearently had this all figured out with his memories before he died, and he was sewn a red crown and died, in his bed, now ruling hell as lucifer. And heaven as jesus. Weird!
I also learned i was azazel recently and i still dont know how to feel about it.
Acrians Locket
9:36 PM
11/4/2023
